September 7th, 2006
|12:53 pm - public post|
I am very proud of the way that I look. I'm not a stick by any means, I am a voluptuous, curvy woman with plenty of meat on my bones. I love my squishy belly, my ample rear end, my great breasts. I have no complaints or apologies towards how I look. This is me, and I personally could care less if you like it or not, because I know that there are plenty of other people out there who do.
Now granted, I have not always been comfortable with my weight. After my ex-husband went to prison in July of 2003, I gained twenty pounds after finding solace with Chinese food from the deli at Safeway and pints of Ben & Jerry's. I was depressed and I didn't want to leave the house. It didn't help that I was subsisting on a diet of greasy Hamburger Helper, completely unhealthy amounts of fast food (and we're not talking salads, either), Hungry Man salisbury steak TV dinners, fried chicken from the deli down the street and grilled cheese sandwiches on Wonder bread with Velveeta, not grilled so much as fried in sticks of Imperial margarine.
And when I was married, my diet was relatively close to the same. My ex-husband would make biscuits and gravy, slather the biscuits with margarine and then slather gravy over the top of it. Fried spam & velveeta sandwiches. He would sit in front of the television eating deep-fried burritos covered with sour cream and chili. Dip hot dogs into a pile of mayonnaise. Brown rice? Never heard of it. Baked potato chips as opposed to fried? An abomination. Lettuce besides iceburg in a salad? My mom doesn't eat that way, so why should I?
It wasn't until November of 2003 when I was fully able to recognize that I needed to do something about my health. My best friend and I were walking back to my house from hers when a man in an olive drab military-style parka with the hood up ran past me and stole my purse. I tried to chase him as he continued running, but I felt like I was going to die. Ami, in better shape than I was at the time, tore off down the street after him, but was unable to catch him. I, on the other hand, stood on the sidewalk screaming profanities and crying, feeling like my heart was about to explode from inside my chest. I wasn't unhappy with my weight, but my health was in jeopardy. I thought about my grandfather, who had already had two heart attacks and one open-heart surgery in the past twenty-five years.
Not long after that, I was getting some r & r at my mom and dad's house, wearing a pair of jeans that I loved with big buckles on the upper thigh and a split leg. I was laying on my old daybed on my side, facing the wall, when my father comes in before leaving for work, and smacks my ass and kind of jiggles it. "You've got to shake off some of this poundage," he says, with his habit to make up words. "Because you know, you were such a solid little gal when you were in high school...and you looked super good back then, you know."
I have lost probably close to fifty pounds since that day. I didn't lose weight because my father told me that I had a big ass. In fact, he referred to it as a "ghetto booty" more than once, and I shot back with, "Yes, Jennifer Lopez has this same ass, and she's famous for it." I didn't lose weight because I was feeling unattractive. I didn't lose weight because I was a "fat American woman" as close-minded idiots like americwomensux would say, I lost weight to improve my health and that's all there is to it. And again, I wasn't even trying to lose weight in the first place - I just wanted to be healthier.
So you know what? You can come here, you can take my photos, you can post them in LJ Flame Cup you can make fun of me and call me a fat, ugly American bitch, but you know what? Inner beauty is what shines the brightest, and no matter what size you are, what is sexiest is when you're comfortable in your own skin. Which is why I believe that some of the sexiest women out there are people like seemlesswaters, whose confidence shines through her in everything she does, like the_shit_i_know, who is one of the most beautiful women I have ever met both inside and out.
Beauty is being comfortable with who you are and loving yourself for your flaws and your imperfections as well as your wonderful qualities.
And the only thing that is truly ugly is the hatred that close-minded, hate-filled, ignorant, idiotic people like you feel towards those that don't conform to your certain pre-set mold of what's beautiful. What do I think is sexy?
Have a nice day.
a fat, happy, sassy American bitch.
PS - I have no problem with who I am. At 185 lbs, I'm perfect happy with myself. And no stupid comments about "mooooving sideways through doors" or the eternally clever "cow" statement are going to make me change my stance. And if that's truthfully the best you can do, I find that quite sad.
Current Location: at home
Current Mood: fat, sassy & happy
Current Music: Mad About You
|Date:||September 7th, 2006 09:18 pm (UTC)|| |
Kathy Bates is the sex!
By the way, happy birthday, Lisa!
Hope your 22d is great! :D
|Date:||September 7th, 2006 09:22 pm (UTC)|| |
so agree. Kathy Bates is defintly the sex!
I am not going to leave the flirty type comments that I nromally leave at your posts caue I think this post deserves more than that sort of treatment. You know how I feel about you so I feel no need to turn this into a mushfest what I ant to say is that I am proud of you. You are stronger than you know. When we were talking on the phone last nght I had commented to you that you are a healer, and you are. By writing about your life and your expiriences like you are right now it helps women who might not have your strength start to see the beauty within themselves. The idiots who steal your picture and flame, who direct you to read their hate filled journals they aren't worth your time or your energy.
You dont know me but I just want to say men like you are wonderful. Corrie is such a lucky girl to have found you. If there were more men out in this world like you the world would be such a better brighter place.
Corrie, this post is amazing it goes to show that there are strong, healthy, beautiful women in all shapes and sizes who can build up other women, who just dont feel that good about themselves all the time. For the people who are rude and just plain vicious making fun of others, just remember what goes around comes around and your day will come that someone will knock you down a few pegs. Thank you for this community Corrie, I am glad its here because it shows that Big woman are confident and beautiful inside and out!!
|Date:||September 7th, 2006 10:19 pm (UTC)|| |
One of my customers today said "her husband didn't want to have to shake the sheets to find her." I thought it was the best ever!
Last night our belly dance troupe leader said the women with big hips had a great advantage, and she's right! Skinny women look like they're working so hard when they belly dance.
I want to be healthy, but I also want to feel beautiful and sensuous and strong! Guess what? I do!
opramum (mimid316's mum)
ps - your daughter is awesome and I ♥ her to pieces. :)
Very well said, Corrie. I'm so proud of you, and I wish I could take your words to heart and get over the insecurity I have about my looks. Someday, maybe.
You are beautiful.
|Date:||September 8th, 2006 04:20 am (UTC)|| |
Well, I don't know if this had anything to do with my last post, but Jesus...you really touched me Corrie. I really appriciate what you said, in so many ways. Really big wow, really.
It just gets to be so much sometimes that I forget some people REALLY do think like this. I get pissed when I forget. Thank you for writing this. Hugs and kisses. :)
|Date:||September 8th, 2006 07:13 am (UTC)|| |
*much applause and large amounts of love*
you are wonderful corrie :)
thank you, Tim, you're pretty great yourself! :)
|Date:||September 9th, 2006 01:42 am (UTC)|| |
I shouldn't have gone into americwomensux's journal. Crap like that makes me sick. I come from a Spanish/Mexican roots, born and raised in San Diego, and I found this chick's journal completely offensive and ignorant. Just plain WOW. It amazes me how ignorant and jealous this chick is! Grrr.
::high five:: on loving your body! I'm overweight but am trying to lose weight because I've got some crazy health issues. I'm trying to lose at least 40 pounds, but once I start losing my butt, the weight loss plan is over! ;) I LOVE curves and I would rather be curvy than twiggy too!
I admire your confidence. I just think it is sort of sad that women in general are somehow taught...no matter what their size to not be satisfied or happy. There is always something that should be fixed. Get rid of your freckles. Drop the weight..or gain muscle if you are skinny. ...Nobody is ever happy with that...even the supermodel types. It just is sort of unfortunate
From the pic you posted in the addme community - you are not ugly at all. Just my two cents' worth...
You don't know me but WORD.
I adore your entry! I'm also a curvy woman with meat on my bones so I think you sound fantastic. You are concerned about your health which is great but you aren't like some women who are trying to starve themselves. Go on with your bad self! ;)
You put it so nicely, and after having a daughter who was anorexic and still has to be closely paid attention to, some extra poundage is healthier than not having enough pounds. And your beauty shines through in your Myspace photos! :)